Guest Post by Missy Sperle
When I was asked to share my story for Compounding Courage, I was very touched that they would think I had a story worth sharing. They suggested I look at other Sharing Stories for ideas as to content, length, etc. As soon as I did that, I began to doubt myself. Do I have a story that is worth sharing?
These stories all seem so transformative and amazing. What story can I possibly tell that will live up to all of the other amazing stories that have been shared? I actually started texting my friend Kelly, telling her that I didn’t think I had a good story to share. How was I going to be able to do this?
And then it hit me.
This is my story. Feeling like I am never good enough. Getting trapped in the comparison game. That was the message I wanted to share. It was there all along and that limiting belief that my story wasn’t “good enough” almost prevented me from sharing anything at all.
I have found myself in the comparison game more often than I care to admit. This comparison game started long before social media existed and after reading many of Brene’ Browns books, listening to podcasts from Rachel Hollis and others, and following the Compounding Courage team. I have come to realize that this comparison game stems from never feeling like I am enough.
I have put a lot of work shifting this mindset over the past several years. I have met a lot of gamechangers for me, taken a lot of steps in my own self care, and have spent more time building others up and celebrating them than comparing myself to them.
My mindset change started seven years ago, the day before Thanksgiving. I was coaching my basketball team when I heard the fire whistle blow. I didn’t think much of it until my players’ cell phones started blowing up with news that some players had been in a serious car accident.
That day changed everything for me. I have lived life differently ever since.
The little things that used to matter to me don’t as much anymore. I don’t spend as much time worrying about what others think of me or trying to please others. I spend some of my time doing the things I want to do, that fill me up, versus just doing things for everyone else to please them.
I continue to give a lot of myself to others, but I have set boundaries for what I will accept and what I will not. Because of this, some of the relationships I have worked hard to maintain have changed. People who I have considered friends, I have realized are more acquaintances. That was a hard pill to swallow because it meant they didn’t choose me after I had chosen them for so long. I found myself going back into that dark hole of not feeling good enough for them.
While I have grown a lot since that life-changing day in November seven years ago, I think my biggest growth has happened in the past two years. Coincidentally (or not), that is when I started going to High Vibe gym in Platteville, Wisconsin and it is when I started following Compounding Courage.
I had always followed High Vibe on social media, but had been teaching fitness classes in Lancaster and didn’t really think it made sense to drive to Platteville when I had a gym 5 minutes away from me. I decided to do the St. Patty’s Day 5K run and packet pickup was the Friday before the race. I reached out to Jess Redfearn, the owner of High Vibe, and asked if I could drop-in and try a kickboxing class.
That was another gamechanging day for me.
Immediately after class, I knew that was where I needed to be to reach my goals. It felt like home. Fast forward two years later. I have met some very influential people who have become great friends. I have started Crossfit, something I never thought I could do, and I am loving it! When I drive to the gym every morning, that is something I am doing for me. It has become a staple in my day and has helped me become more grounded, less anxious, and happy. I am happier in my job, happier at home and generally just happier with who I am.
I guess my story is a story of constant growth. Who would have thought at the age of 46 I would still be navigating through the waters of self-doubt, self-worth, friendship, comparison? I am thankful for all of the people who I have crossed paths with in life. They continue to play a role in who I will become. But ultimately, loving myself and accepting who I am meant to be is the biggest gamechanger of all.